15x20 inch
Feb 02, 2015
Sold to The Vintage Church Bristol United Kingdom
This will be the hardest painting I've ever done. Painting every details I've gone through psychological, emotional, and spiritual exhaustion. There were times I was crying while painting his wounds particularly his bruised right eye. That's why it took me weeks and weeks to finally finish the wound details cos I can't focus for more than two hours with nothing but all these shades of red I used for blood. It takes a lot in me. My journey of painting the wounds of Christ caused me sleepless nights. When I started painting his eyes I wanted it to look like He is actually looking at you, talking to you. I wanted you to see what I saw. I saw my sins flashed before my eyes. The kind of monster who crucified Him. Who caused every blood He shed. The monstrous doubt, hate, lies, greed. We have our own monster inside us. There will be times that you'll have to face it. And I think I did. Though it will always lurk in the darkness of my despair but I have the courage to face it now if I ever encounter it again. I saw my soul's journey, the pain and happiness I felt along the way. The down fall and the rope to keep holding on.
The reason I painted the face of the wounded Christ is for you to see your own sins and find redemption, your fall and find courage, your pain and find peace. The courage to carry your own Cross. When I first read the old testament I feared God. I was scared of him. Scared to face him for I will die. I know I'm not worthy enough to see his blinding light. But when I saw the Passion of Christ 11 years ago everything changed. I painted a picture of Jim Caviezel as Jesus in the movie Passion of Christ. A film by Mel Gibson. A picture perfect film. Sometimes words just penetrated our brains and leave without our permission. But a picture stays longer and can produce a thousand other words. The movie Passion of Christ opened a lot of windows to see your very soul. To have a glimpse of your own true reflection. To summarize your journey and the roads you've taken since. With a question are you one of the people who cried for Yeshua? Or are you one of the people behind the crucifixion? Some people see it as a violent film. I don't. That film awakened my sleeping heart. I cried like a baby watching that film. It only shows who Jesus really is. Yes I do love seeing pictures of smiling Christ but sometimes we needed to see His pain to wake up.
Jesus carried and died on the Cross to define the word Forgiveness. He created the word Sacrifice. He offered us Hope. He simply explained the unexplainable, irrational, unseen connection we call Love. When we talk about God's wrath and his commandments I feel nothing but Fear. When we mention Jesus name I feel nothing but Love. From the Strict God of the old testament Jesus introduced me to a Loving and Forgiving God.
I forgot, and yet He remembers. I walked away, and yet His footsteps says that He carried me. I thought He left, and yet His fingerprints are all over the place. I bargain, and yet He gave me both. I'm not perfect and yet He embraces me. We are sinners, and yet He forgives.
For us Artists Painting is an adventure and this wonderful adventure is now painted in one of the story-telling-canvas of my soul.
This is my journey of looking into the eyes of Jesus Christ. To feel his pain and to find some comfort in the light of his eyes.
